2012 - Changes??

Well, Andrew and I have decided to take part in the Marriage ceremonies in Downtown Cleveland, Ohio March 24th, 2012. 

I feel like this should be an amazing night, an amazing event, a great, blessed time. But I am starting to feel scared that it wont be. 

I want so bad to share this with my family. But, while they know Andrew as Andrew, and use the proper pronouns, in their eyes, he is still Transgender, and is biologically a female. This hurts my heart. It hurts me because, we have been engaged since February 2010, but how our families have or have not accepted our relationship has caused a lot of stress and tension between us. 

I want my family to be excited with me, I want them to celebrate with us, and dance with us, and smile with us, and cry with us, and celebrate our love with us. I want my Father to be there, but I know he wont be. I want my Mother, my aunts, my Brothers, my Sister, my niece, my nephews, my sons, my cousins - I want them all there to celebrate with us. But while I slowly watch our friends fill up the "accepted" tab on the Reception Invite, and watch my family slowly fill up the "declined" list, my heart sinks. 

Does gender cause this wedge? Does what is between a persons legs really tell us if love is right or wrong?

This is NOT about religion, Im sorry. No matter how much anyone wants it to be, its not. 

Its about Andrew and I, and how much we love each other. Its about wanting to commit ourselves to each other for life. If Andrew was born as a male, then I dont doubt all of my family would show up to a church for a wedding. But this - this is what causes the wedge?

I'm prepping myself - to pay for everything, to do everything, to get dressed without my mom there, to say "I do" with none of my family standing by my side - to cook all the food by myself while Andrew works the morning shift, to bake cupcakes to fill a cupcake tower - because a wedding cake just isn't something we can budget even on the best of days. 

I want so bad to wake up tomorrow and see everyone support us the way they would if Andrew was born male. I want everyone to look at us and see our love, and see our family, not what is under our clothes. 

Either way, I know in my heart, this is the right thing. I just hope, pray, and hope and pray, that BOTH of our families will share this with us. I don't want to do this on our own. This isn't just some dinner party. Its a wedding reception. No matter if Ohio see's this marriage as legal or not - in our hearts it is real. I only hope my family will see it the same way. 

Its been over two years - its time that we take the next step.